A True False Hope
by Asheleigh Beaumonte
Summary: Relena meets with Heero by an old willow tree, where she discovers he has been stabbed. She reviews on her thoughts about him and her father. Relena's POV.


  
  


DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I write about them.

  
  


_Your eyes tell me so much._

_ That day, at the seaport, my birthday. And my father, oh father...I miss you so much I don't know what to do anymore._

_ But that day. I saw you, lying facedown in the sand, washed up onto the shore like some kind of secret message in a bottle I had so anticipated. Like a sort of birthday present hurled to me by the angry ocean._

My hands clasped tightly together as I studied the stars in the sky, bright, luminous, glowing down onto the animal hedges in the garden. But I was in darkness. The bench on where I sat was protected by a weeping willow, so giant, so dreary, hanging over me like some sort of protective ghost of the past.

_Did you know? That day, did you know that it would all end like this? That you would someday have to leave, that you and I would never be together?_

_ Of course you did. Of course you knew. But did you know that you couldn't kill me?_

_ That mission, you have failed. Never, in your life, had you failed any mission, yet this one was an exception._

_ What had become of you, all those years? Where did you go after the eyes of that teddy-bear stared preciously back at me in my seat? What did you think of when you saw me through the window, ripping your birthday card for me in two?_

The bear stared languidly at me from beside me on the bench. I held it by the stomach and set it on my lap, toying with the soft, plush, brown fur.

_What were you thinking of when you bought this for me? Were you thinking about me?_

A breeze came and harshly chilled my spine. I shivered, wishing that I wasn't out there in the early autumn cold.

The bear stared back at me in a mocking way, chiding me in coming to our meeting place.

"Relena."

My mind sped. He was just a dark shape in front of me, yet by his voice I knew instantly that it was him. That name, that voice. It drifted to me, called me, and my gaze flew up.

"Heero." My grip on the teddy bear tightened just the slightest, and I quickly got to my feet.

"Heero, why did you call me here?" I asked, trembling inside for fear of the answer. "Why did you ask that I come?"

_Is it to finish your unfinished mission? Is it to finally exterminate the obstacle?_

"Relena."

It seemed that he could only manage to say my name. I heard him swallow, and saw him take a step forward, but he fell to one knee and clutched at his stomach.

"Heero, you're hurt!" The teddy bear went unnoticed as it fell to the ground and I rushed to his aid. I held him up in a crouching postition by holding onto his elbow, and he leaned weakly against me.

"What happened? Who did this to you?"

"It isn't what it seems," he muttered.

My dress was suddenly wet, and as my knees touched the ground, they touched hot liquid. A sticky red substance.

His shirt blew open in another cruel gust of wind, and the soft moonlight shone on his severe wounds. His stomach sported a vertical injury, small yet seeming deep.

A knife wound.

"Heero, who did this?" Tears stung at my eyes as I tried with all my might to hold him up. As I tried to lend him my strength.

"It's not...what it seems," he grunted in pain, and he tried to push me away. "I _told_ you."

_No! Don't. Let me help you, let me care for you. Let me be able to love you._

He stood, panted, and bowed his head.

_Click._

My head shot up, sensing danger. But then, Heero Yuy in himself was a danger to me.

He held the gun in his right hand and clutched at his stomach with his left.

"You're going to kill me, aren't you?" I asked in a soft whisper.

_Yes. You are._

"Relena, I'm sorry to have to do this," he mumbled, yet I could see a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead. He looked exhausted, pale, faint.

"Are you?" I let my eyes fall to the ground in sad acceptance. Then I lifted my eyes, meeting his, their vivid prussian blue piercing into my very being, my extreme presence.

_Youre eyes tell me so much._

His arm trembled, and he seemed unsure and sick, as though he didn't really want to. Then it fell. The gun fell from his hand and clattered to the floor, and he fell over onto his knees again, both arms wrapped around his stomach, head bent foreward.

_You tremble so violently. I wish I could ease your ceaseless pain._

He collapsed onto his side and didn't move. I rushed to his side, reaching my fingers for his neck, and the faint struggle of an irregular beating pulse met me there.

_I'll ease your pain, dear love. I'll make things as it should be for you and I. As it should be._

***

_You mutter my name over and over in your feverish sleep. Yet am I the one your thoughts are really focused on? Am I really who you cry for, am I really the one you long for?_

He tossed on the bed, a prisoner to the fever that grasped his body. The wound was bandaged, yet he writhed in mental pain, the battle in his body much more than he could handle on the battle field.

The blood soaked through the blankets, a morbid reminder of the pain he had to endure.

I wiped the sweat tenderly off of his forehead and dipped the cloth back into the cool bowl of water that was at the bedside.

"Relena," he called breathlessly. "Relena..."

_There you go again, calling my name. I have no wish to think of that as your true feelings for me, you've shown too many for me to make sense of. You seem to hurl anger at me, tenderness, hate, yet never love. So why view this as your showing of love for me when you yourself try to deny my existance?_

A knock on my door. I turned in the chair and saw Pagan looking curiously in on us, the dim light of the lamp on the bedside table making his features look angry and distorted.

"Miss Relena, you really must call an ambulance," he said softly, and I turned my back to him, facing Heero again.

_Not even he understands me. I want to be the first person you see, I want to be the one to take care of you, to nurture you. Maybe then, after this ordeal is over, shall you finally see that I love you with all my heart and soul._

I heard Pagan sigh, and the soft click as the door was shut, and my own eyes closed to the eerie sound of his strained breathing.

_You are everything to me, Heero. Why do you keep insisting on killing? What would the world with peace be without the people to enjoy that peace? Thousands of men are dying. They'll never be able to ravish in the peace yet to come._

My eyes opened and landed on his troubled features. I took the cloth from the bowl and wiped your forehead with it once more, then placed it back into the water.

"Relena..."

_Do you hear me? Do my thoughts call out to you in your sleep? I wonder._

He let out a soft exhalation of breath, and suddenly, was at peace for a few seconds. Then the trembling began. My hand reached out and cupped his cheek, wishing for all of this to stop.

_You're always so strong. I know you have the strength to endure this, Heero. My Heero._

I pulled the blankets up closer to his neck and trailed my finger on his jawline. Then, bending over, I rested my head against his chest. It shuddered, tremored a little violently.

_You can't imagine how this pains me. To see you in so much anguish, to see you in so much tortured agony._

_Oh father...I had laid my head against your chest, such a long time ago it seems a lifetime. I had done this before. Before...you had...died._

Tears stung my eyes and I shut them quickly. Tears would not help. Tears would only heighten my grief.

Yet one tear slid past my lashes, then another, and it seemed they would never ever stop.

***

Fingers. Tangled in my hair. A hand twirled fingers around my brown locks of hair, toying with the locks, and I shivered in the pre-dawn air.

"Relena."

My eyes opened, and he smiled down at me, his eyes deep and kind.

_Do you know? Can you feel my love escaping from my body, my mind, my soul?_

"Heero." I sat up, leaned against the back of the chair, and sat stiffly, staring down at my joined hands.

_Must I ask you if you know?_

"Aren't you going to kill me, Heero?" I let out a controlled exhalation of breath, and grabbed the gun from the table and placed it in his lap.

He held the gun and stared down at it, troubled, unsure.

_You're eyes tell me so much._

_ Heero, don't kill me. But if you must, I pray that I am the last person that you kill. It would be tragic. My heart would break if you think of me as just another person to dispose of. Please...don't._

"Relena, I'm going to kill you," he said as my breath caught in my throat. His eyes remained on the gun in his hand, yet they flitted to me, and to the bowl that sat on the table beside him.

I nodded. "Yes, I suppose you will."

_You will indeed end up killing me one day, Heero. And just as long as I am your last victim, I would spare my life for the lives of others. It is the Peacecraft way._

My gaze lifted to meet his eyes, and they flickered with an unknown emotion.

_Your eyes tell me so much._

_I love you,_ they said.

_Can it be? Were they trying to tell me something Heero Yuy himself could not? I only pray that you feel the same way, Heero. I only pray that you love me enough to grant my one wish. Bring peace. Please. Kill me to bring peace._

I sighed, glanced outside, out at the weeping willow that stared mysteriously at me from the distance. My guardian. The bright rays of dawn appeared at the horizon, and I couldn't help but wonder.

_Will it be today?_

I turned to Heero, got to my feet, and straightened my dress. "Well, Heero. It's nearly morning."

I tried to smile, yet he knew it was fake. We both knew it was an unreal hope to hang on to. A false hope. A hopeless hope.

_But does the rest of the world know? Do the colonies know, Heero?_

I cleared my throat, let out a sigh of grace, and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. "Would you like some breakfast?"

Was that kind of stupid or what? Sorry, I made it at, like, midnight, and I was half awake and bored, so you know...pls review! Reviews can be people's friends. (Unless it's a bad review ~_~) Well, ^_^ much appreciated!


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